It suddenly dawned on me today that I am not up for big things. Seems like everyone else is better than me and I am not competent in what I do.

Is it because of my lack of focus?

Is it because I am doing too many things at a time?

Is it because I don’t specialize such that I am only mediocre?

Am I really a jack of all trades but master of none?

You know, it’s really a very depressing thought. I wish I could feel better, accepting myself for who I am. I wish I could tell someone and feel assured.

Such a wallowing in self pity moment I have right now. I really hate this but I can’t say it, I blog it then.

If my mind were a tunnel, I can tell you that lots of thoughts are running through it right now.

A lot of things in this world are very subjective. Maybe one plus one wasn’t really two.

Someone experienced might know a lot of the inside trade but it doesn’t mean that they are always right.

What are dreams and aspirations if they cannot be realized?

A guaranteed success only happens only when we meet a client’s requests. Even the best works wouldn’t be recognized if we can’t meet the client’s requests.

I put a meaning behind all the things I do yet nobody seems to see it.

Perhaps it’s doesn’t really matter if I can or cannot achieve big things. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t, so why should I bother?

I guess I should start focusing on doing more meaningful things or things I deem as meaningful.

I would be definitely be happier. 

Reflecting upon all the choices that I have made.

Should I have? Should I haven’t? Would that make a difference?

Of course, it does make a difference. But there’s no point regretting, for I never believe in regrets. But there’s always a moment to feel sad.

There are some decisions that I have to make. There are some things that I have to change. And there are some things worth risking for. For we only live once.

Time to assert.

It’s time to feel happy again.