Yesterday I was looking through many of the videos that I have taken. It happens all the time when I explored my folders. I even repeated some scenes over and over again. Some of which are my favorites or dislikes. Chardy hates it whenever I pause and rewind/ fast forward the video when it is still playing. Maybe it’s really annoying. Perhaps I am so used to doing that when it comes to video editing that I don’t realize the sudden interrupts would cause discomfort.

Anyways, I don’t know why but I felt a sudden disillusion. When I was young, I thought videos were the best things to keep as memories because they capture everything at that moment. The people, the conversations, the movements and the sounds. Videos are just so vivid in expression. That’s why I was really excited to capture everything I could with my video camera and I made a mental note to self that I would share the videos someday to everyone so we could remember the happy times. But last night, my brain told me something different.

I was just wondering: What if no one bothers? What if the videos cause us to recall something that we probably don’t want to? Maybe my family and friends would never want to see them again because some memories can be so painful.

All it takes is a click. There is little room to run away from the videos that I don’t wish to see again. Yet at the same time, I don’t want to erase them because they would diminish bit by bit from my life.

It’s pretty depressing that my favorite hobby has now become an irony for myself.